Little known lovers of Buffy, Willow, & Faith
by Jinxgirl
Summary: Just what the title sounds like. Each chapter takes a different one of the three mentioned; there are three chapters for each girl, each a different version. Response to Dark Knight's pick a name from a hat challenge. More explanation inside.Femslash/slas
1. Chapter 1: Buffy: Evil older women

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
Author notes: I did this in response to a challenge where you pick a character, put 20 character names in a hat, and draw them out and have the starting character have a sexual relationship with each of them in the context of a story. This one was very amusing… so amusing that I ended up writing several of these stories. My character I chose was Buffy, and her hat-chosen lovers are Jenny Calendar, Drusilla, Darla, Anya, and Tru Davies.

It's taken me a long time to even realize it, let alone to say it, but I'm a little more self-perceptive and mature now, or so I'd like to think anyway, and I can finally say it without the denials and backtracking and excuses. Even if it's weird and creepy and just plain yuck, as Dawn would say, I can say it and I don't mind it anymore.

I have a thing for older women. Much, much older women. As in, ranging from fifteen years to one thousand years older. And usually, women who have tried to kill me or betray me, or later betrayed me. Women who are evil.

Well, not ALL of them were evil. Some of them were just sneaky. Or only formerly evil. Not wholly, entirely, evil to the core. But even so, the track record I have… it's kinda scary. Literally.

First there was Miss Calendar… Jenny, when we were alone. I know, I know, I can see you cringing and squawking right now. Teacher and student, illegal, forbidden, your watcher's girlfriend, blah blah blah. Bad Buffy, very bad Buffy. Let's just say that in my defense, it was over with long before Giles got the nerve to stutter up the courage to even speak to her. I needed tutoring, it was a particularly exhilarating slay that night that I went to the school for help… I had to save her life, she was grateful, things happened. I'll spare you the details. Later she had a guilt attack and gave me this huge apology, and after that it was pretty weird between us. It made her betrayal of me later, and her murder, that much harder…

Then came Drusilla and Darla… that wasn't actually my own decision, at least at first. After Darla was resurrected and Drusilla re-made her a vampire, Wes and Cordy called Sunnydale to warn everyone. I travelled up to see Angel- and thinking to stake them- but they accosted me and basically raped me, as much as two females could rape another female. It wasn't a threesome deal... it was Darla, and then along came Drusilla twenty minutes later. All, "Oh poor little dolly is hurting, let me kiss and make it better..." And a second rape proceeds. Well, I say rape… but the thing is, I enjoyed it. They didn't hurt me, not really- I think they more were trying to distract me, shake me up. Boy did they. I went home after that… didn't try to kill them, never even told Angel what had happened. And damn if I couldn't stop thinking about them… okay, FANTASIZING about them.

And then Anya. An ex-vengeance demon. Are you seeing a theme here? Like with the others, I didn't really mean for it to happen. As a new human, Anya didn't know how to dance, so one night while out with her and Willow and Tara at a club, I thought I'd show her. I don't remember where Xander was. Wait, I think he was sleeping, and Anya was pissed because he was too tired to have sex with her or 

something. Something like that. Anyway, I'd had a few beers, and you know how well I hold my alcohol. One thing led to another, and we kept dancing more and more intimately, with Anya going right along with it, until we were making out against the wall. We didn't stop until Willow and Tara's horrified stares registered in my mind. Okay, so we never actually had sex. But I swear that Anya would have been willing to right then and there as long as it gave her pleasurable orgasms.

She never mentioned it again, and I passed it off as a result of me being wasted to everyone else. But honestly, for the next six months, every time I saw Anya and Xander together I wanted to scream with frustration and jealousy. And again… for the fourth time, the woman I had been with was killed. Well okay, Drusilla wasn't… but for all I know she has been by now.

Right now, I'm with Tru Davies, and so far she seems to be the pattern breaker. She's my age, for one thing, and she saves lives instead of taking them. I'm not even forcing her to cheat on anyone by being with her. But still… I can't help but watch for her evil side to rear its ugly, betraying head. Sometimes I think I almost hope it will…

Then again, that would probably mean she'd become the fifth woman I was with who died… so, crossing my fingers. Really, really hard.  
End


	2. Chapter 2: Willow: Charms of Cheerleader

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
Author notes: Another of the name in the hat lover challenges. I pick a Buffy character, put 20 characters in a hat, and draw out five names for the character to have had a relationship with. Main person is Willow this time, the lovers I drew were, in order, believe it or not, Cordelia, Missy Pantone from Bring it On, Oz, Tara, and Kennedy. I know, the last three are sort of unexpected to draw out of a hat in that order, but that's the way it happened, really..

Chapter 2: The Charms of Cheerleaders

I've always gotten crushes on cheerleaders. I know, you'd never think… me, Willow, the shy ex-nerd Wiccan, the computer geek who practically lived in overalls at one point in her life- lusting after cheerleaders? But I did. There's just something about those short, tight little skirts, the way the tacky sleeveless tops show their stomachs… watching them walk in those things, their long skinny legs striding smoothly, those teensy weensy skirts barely covering those really nice butts that do a LOT of yoga and stairmaster… very distracting. Very. And once they start doing backflips and cartwheels and jumps in those things- forget it. I'm stare city. Only in a pretending-not-to-stare way. And god, when they do splits… my mind takes a sharp dive down Pervert Path.

I dated two cheerleaders, you know. Oh yeah, that's right, me, Willow, I dated cheerleaders! WHILE still in high school! Maybe I'm cooler than you thought, huh?

Of course, it was all done in top secrecy to protect their reputations and popularity and all that. Mine didn't matter, of course. Still doesn't really.

Well, and one of them was in middle school. And we didn't do anything but kiss a few times, and only really quick, when we were sure no one was around, in the girls' room. But we were dating, as much as you date anyone in middle school, even though both of us would have died rather than say it. And I did kiss her… I did kiss Cordelia Chase!

That's why she was mean to me so much in high school, I think. It didn't end well with us, and she was still resentful of us having ever been together at all. Not to mention living in fear that I might have the nerve to mention it to someone. Not, of course, that I would have, or that they would have believed me even if I had, but it was something to dangle over Cordy's head to keep her in line sometimes.

And then, there was Missy Pantone. She was another cheerleader too… only she was nothing like Cordelia. She was open and friendly, and not at all a typical cheerleader girl. In fact, she hadn't even really wanted to be a cheerleader- at her old school she'd been a gymnast. Still, seeing her in that outfit, and watching her cheer…

I think it could have lasted with us, if I hadn't been so scared. I think she would have been willing to commit to me. Popularity didn't mean much to Missy- despite her being a cheerleader, she wasn't a social butterfly. But I was too scared… why, I can't really say. I guess I just wasn't ready to let everyone know who I really was, even myself. Even though my cheerleading obsession should have made it obvious.

You know what came next…Oz, and then, once I'd accepted myself a little more, Tara, then Kennedy. And I loved them all… but none of them were cheerleaders. Even now, as happy as I am with Kennedy, I sometimes find myself watching those Dallas girls on TV, faking an interest in football I'd bet Kennedy sees right through. I wonder what she'd think if I asked her to get an outfit like that this Halloween…

end


	3. Chapter 3:Faith:Crazy psycho killers & B

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
Author notes: Another of the name in the hat lover challenges. I pick a Buffy character, put 20 characters in a hat, and draw out five names for the character to have had a sexual relationship with, whether in fantasy, reality, or wish. Main person is Faith this time, the lovers I drew were, in order, Billy Loomis from Scream, Lisa Roe from Girl Interrupted, Buffy, Angel, and Berdine from the Sword of Truth book series.

Chapter 3: Crazy psycho killers and a certain blonde Slayer

People wonder why I can't commit to nothin' or no one… gee, could that be because everyone I've ever tried to be with screwed me over so far? I ain't even talkin' about the whole parent thing, although both did screw me over royally. Dad by not existing, Mom by being a drunk-as fist-flinging whore. But what are the freakin' chances that every person a girl gets with from the time she first starts dating either goes crazy or betrays her? Or both? Well I guess if you're lookin' at MY joke of a life, pretty damn good.

First there was Billy Loomis… I was about fourteen when we were dating. I was excited since he was a junior and I was just an eighth-grader. Should've been a sign to me right there, you know, but I was young and stupid. Not that much has changed in that area. But add desperate to believe the guy actually liked me and wanted me, unlike about everyone else in my life who made it clear that I was a mistake, a bitch, a slut, whore, a useless waste of space. Billy was a smooth little bastard, I'll give him that, and sexy as hell. Horny too- but then, what guy wouldn't be when some idiot fourteen-year-old is more than willing to sleep with him?

Of course, Billy never told anyone we were "dating," or more accurately, fuckin'. He said it was so they couldn't break us apart, but it was really so his ass couldn't be slapped with a statutory rape charge. And of course the second I was in high school, where he'd actually have to see me beyond pre-arranged afterschool fucks, he broke up with me for this chick Sidney Prescott. Ended up lucky for me, since Billy went psycho and ended up killin' a bunch of people in a freakin' ghost mask. But still, there goes my first burn as far as lovers go.

Next was this chick Lisa Roe. That was right after Billy, and about as rebound as you can get. She was older too, a senior, and she had a crazy streak even longer 

than mine. She really knew how to find the fun, I gotta tell you- but she also knew exactly how to push everyone's buttons. Taught me most of what I know in that area. Watch, Learn, Destroy was Lisa's motto as far as people's feelings went… and somehow I never knew what she herself was feelin'. Of course, she never did for me either- I wouldn't let her. I felt like we were sorta the same person in two bodies sometimes… but that probably ain't such a good thing, since a few months later she ended up being labeled a sociopath and thrown into a psycho ward. Been there eight years, I think.

And then… B. You think the other two were bad? B was the one who broke my heart, about as much as a heart the size of the Grinch's, pre growth spurt, can break. God, I had it bad for the bitch. But did she look in my direction? Did she even fuckin' notice? Nope. Or if she did, she was too damn good for me or somethin', or else just didn't care. Or too embarrassed. That had to have been it- she didn't want to admit that she, Buffy, could be interested in another girl.

And I KNOW she was. Despite all her cringing and prissing and "Eww Faith, you're disgusting"s, I KNEW she was hot for me. I saw the way she looked down my shirt unwillingly, could feel her eyes following my ass when I walked away. I could tell how turned on she was when I danced with her, when I "casually" cuddled up to her in my "sleep" when we shared a bed as "friends". .. and the one time that I kissed her, she kissed me back. She fuckin' kissed me back…

But would she ever lower herself enough to admit it? Hell no, not our blondie princess Buffy.

I think that was sorta what drove me over the edge a while. I mean, stabbing Finch and being pretty panicked about it helped too, but on the other hand, I'd had two out of two lovers go psycho on me, and the next person I fall in love/lust with totally rejects me. It's enough to make a girl go a little crazy herself.

Hence Angel. You think I've had crazy, rejecting fixation-people before? Angel takes the cake. First off, he's a vampire, which goes above and beyond all the others, as far as wackiness goes. And then, whenever he gets happy, he turns evil and bloodthirsty, like a Cujo or somethin'. It's not that I really wanted him- he was too 

broody for me. It was just that he was B's broody boy, and that was enough to MAKE me want him.

Of course, he screwed me over too. Not literally- no, he managed to wiggle out of that one- but he really fuckin' betrayed me. He and little princess B had some big plot cooked up to expose me and the Mayor's evil plans, and of course making me look like an idiot was part of it. And I WAS an idiot. What really made me think Soulboy would want anything other than tiny blondes who stamp all over people's hearts?

There wasn't anything for a way long time after that, between plotting Ascension, being stabbed into an eight month long coma, and then prison and redemption. Redemption, that includes lots of celibacy. On the plus side, gaining tons more control over the hornies than I would have thought possible. Also, kinda hard to get burned if you keep away from screwing people. On the minus side, no sex sucked. Enough said.

Now though, I'm with Berdine. No last name, like me… and like me, she's all about the redemption for past killings path. She's a Mord-Sith, even more skilled in the ways of torture than I am. And like me, she's giving it up, trying to get back to the good side.

Neither of us have said we love each other… being women who have brutally mutilated people, not to mention killed them, that just isn't our way. But I think we both know it's there. And for now, as long as neither of us stabs each other in the back- or the stomach- or goes crazy psycho killer again, that's enough.

end


	4. Chapter 4:Buffy:Tell me it's not just me

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
Author notes: Another of the name in the hat lover challenges. I pick a Buffy character, put 20 characters in a hat, and draw out five names for the character to have had a sexual relationship with, whether in fantasy, reality, or wish. Main person is Buffy this time, the lovers I drew were, in order, Faith, Stephen King, Darla, Death, and Willow.

Chapter 4: Buffy: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Most people, when they think of Buffy Summers, would probably think I'm a pretty conventional kind of girl as far as my relationships go. Well, okay, maybe it's not exactly conventional to sleep with a dead guy. Okay, _two_ dead guys. But other than that, my relationships have been pretty straight and narrow. Whatever that means. But they _were_ straight. All of them.

My fantasies, on the other hand… I'm pretty sure they'd make some jaws drop. And probably people would laugh. Really hard. Or else be scared. Which is why I would never, ever tell them to anyone. Ever.

Okay, so I'm telling _you_. But other than that, nope, no one, never.

Faith was always ragging me on me for being so uptight, talking about how I just denied my horny side, that I needed to 'find the fun'. Oh, I found the fun in the privacy of my own head- with _her_. Yeah, I know, give me those looks of disbelief. Miss Gives- the-disapproving-looks-to-Faith's-sexual-innuendo Buffy, fantasizing about making out with her, among other things? I know, I'm a hypocrite. But what was I supposed to do, grab her every time she gave me that incredibly wicked, sexy dimpled smile, and shove my tongue down her throat? I would have been so dead. Probably literally. Or even worse… what if she'd went with it and kissed me back?

Couldn't do it. No way, no how- it was that simple. I was with Angel, and I couldn't risk that just because of a few crazy daydreams about me, Faith, and baby oil. No way. Nope. Plus there was the fact that I wasn't gay. I'm _still_ not gay. Not that just

being gay is bad, my best friend is gay- but I'm not. Come on, everyone has had fantasies about Faith! How could you help it, the girl is like, Miss I-turn-straight-girls-into-fervently-questioning-girls or something. Right?

Please tell me I'm right.

Moving on now, definitely moving on now. This fantasy, it's just a tad more acceptable, but still a little ooky. I mean, the guy is about forty years older than me, and not exactly a babe, but he is a complete genius. And at least he's the right gender. Plus, if you read his stuff (which, even as Cordy-esque as I was before becoming the Chosen One, I did, until enough monsters were in my life that I was no longer freaked by fictional ones) you see that the guy can't be took freaked out by the existence of vampires and other ugly evil things. He writes about them so much it kinda makes me suspect he's seen them- which would be ideal for a relationship partner for me.

Okay, so I'll stop with the mysterious pronouns and tell you already. Stephen King. I know, I know, make weirded-out faces. But some girl out there with superpowers knows what I'm talking about… even if it's just Faith.

If you think Faith and Stephen King were bad, the next two will really make you squirm. The first one… Darla. Okay, not so much because I want to have sex with Darla the person, or vampire, or whatever. Even though I have to admit that she's a very attractive woman. Vampire. Whatever. Like I said, it's not that I really want to _be_ with her, I just want to be _with_ her. Kind of to see what kind of competition I am in comparison to her among Angel's lovers. It's more of a me thing than a I-have-a-thing-for-Darla thing. Do you know what I mean?

Probably not. Damn… oh well.

And then there's Death. I know, I know- Death, that's so morbid and gross, etc etc. Would it help any if I said Death in Brad Pitt's body, like in Meet Joe Black? I know that was just a movie, but if Death could take someone's body, why not Brad Pitt's?

It's just a fantasy, after all. And as far as the ick factor goes, I've slept with dead people before. Sleeping with Death itself- now _that_ would be different.

My last fantasy… god, I squirm just saying it. Willow. I mean, how can you help it? Someone's your best friend for seven years- someone who decides four years into it that she likes girls- how can you not occasionally wonder what it would be like to kiss her? You share a bed with her so many times, how can you not wonder what it would be like to use it for more than sleeping?

And she's just so adorable. And she can be sexy too- that one Halloween…

God, please tell me I'm not the only one who does this. Everyone else has sick, twisted fantasies like this too, and they just keep it all nicely locked away in their heads where it belongs. Right?

I'll just pretend I heard a chorus of voices saying 'right' back to me. The alternative reply is too disturbing to think about.


	5. Chapter 5:Willow:Supernatural girls

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. I picked from hat in order Faith, Vampire Willow, Kennedy, Phoebe Halliwell, and Hermione Granger.

For those of you who think that Faith and Buffy had a little something going on after slaying hours... well, as the sidekick best friend of the Slayer, who better than me to give you the scoop on that, right? Well, honestly, though, I don't know. I had my suspicions at the time, still do actually, but I had proof. Fortunately.

I had my suspicions, but more than that, I had my jealousies. Not because Buffy was spending so much time with Faith, or because it seemed like plain old non-killing, non-dancing, non-sexy Willow was being shoved aside in favor of Miss Five-by-Five. All which was true, of course, but none of that mattered. Well, it mattered, but not as much as what I really hated about Buffy spending so much time with Faith.

I didn't feel jealous for Buffy's attention, or lack of it... I was jealous because she was taking Faith away from me. Yeah, I know, I always acted like I didn't like Faith, and in a way I guess I didn't. I mean, she was so loud and crude and- and just gross sometimes. She was everything I was never attracted to... and yet she was just so, so gorgeous and free and drool-worthy. Very, very droolworthy.

I never did anything about my Faith fixation... I'm not sure what I was more afraid of, her rejection, or her accepting, than proceeding to jump my bones and give me a heart attack at the ripe age of eighteen. I think she knew though. I caught her giving me these looks sometimes, when she was oh-so-casually playing with Buffy's hair, or draping an arm around her. This look that was all knowing and sexy and amused... like she knew exactly what I was thinking and enjoyed tormenting me. Which was probably true.

A couple of times she slapped my ass- only playfully, of course- and once she did kiss me, after she'd had a few shots. Both were quick, and she gave me a shit-eating grin afterward, but I could feel my skin tingling where she'd touched me for almost an hour afterward.

Of course, once she did the whole turning-evil thing my attraction faded a bit, especially once she tried to kill me. Still... even with a knife at my throat, had she decided to make out with me, it wouldn't be a forced thing at all.

There must be something about supernatural power girls, because it seems 

practically everyone after Faith I got with was into something along those lines. I guess she must have made an even bigger impact than I thought on me.

First there was the vampire version of me... okay, so I know that's a little freaky, getting it on with someone who's your doppelganger. Someone who basically IS you, except for, you know, the fangs and immortality and a craving for fresh blood. But one bonus was that she knew exactly what I liked... not instructions were necessary, if you get what I mean.

Then of course, there was Kennedy. Again with the supernatural powers, being a potential Slayer and everything. But that blew up in my face eventually. We just started to rub each other wrong eventually, and no, not in the pervy sexual way you're thinking either. Although actually the sex did go kapooey once we started fighting so much. The little brat ended up leaving me for some girl who was barely eighteen, I went to drown my sorrows at this club P3 in retaliation. Which is where I met Phoebe Halliwell.

Things were pretty hot and heavy with Phoebe for a while; to be a previously very straight and man-loving kind of girl, she was way open to experimenting. She was a witch too; in fact, she was a Charmed one. Between our parents, our losses, and the fact that both of us kick evil ass and had been evil more than a few times ourselves, we had a pretty good thing going for a while. But between our crazy-busy, evil-fighting schedules, it just got too hard after while. She had her sisters, her jobs, and her demon fighting constantly pulling at her, and with me too it was too much. It was an amicable split, unlike all the other aforementioned ones.

Right now I'm with Hermione Granger, and it seems to me that maybe this one is the real thing. She's a little younger than me, and she can be kind of bossy, but she has a caring heart that never ceases to amaze me. We have so much in common... Hermione is a witch too, and we have similar childhoods and past experiences, and even personalities. I really think I love her... and hopefully, this love will be one that will overcome anything else. Hopefully she's the right supernatural power girl for me...

end


	6. Chapter 6:Faith:I have a talent

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Faith chapter. In order, characters I picked were Tru Davies, Giles, Lilah Morgan, Cordelia, and Buffy.

Chapter 6: I have a talent for making people lose their inhibitions

Those of you who think Tru Davies is about as straight as they come… think again. Of course, we were in high school at the time- ninth grade actually. But I was with her. What with our screwy backgrounds and all, we sorta hit it off.

Wait up, yo, you're probably sayin'. Tru's from California, Faith, you're from Boston. You didn't come to Cali until you were sixteen, so what do you mean you were "with" Tru in the ninth grade? This is one of your tall tales. Only unlike wrestlin' alligators naked, this one isn't even likely.

Well just shut up a minute and let me talk, alright? It happened, even if the chick denies it now. Which she probably does, being a good responsible hetero and all. See, this was a couple of years after Tru's mom died- was killed, actually. Her dad was still being Mr. Distant Bastard, so he shipped Tru and her brother and sister to Boston for the summer to stay with their aunt. Who just happened to live in the same shitty apartment complex that me and Mom did.

Tru and me really got on. We had tons in common, even if she had much more of a worried conscience than I tried to have. She knew how to find the fun all right though. We even sorta looked alike. One time my mom actually called her by my name. Of course, she was totally smashed and probably seeing four girls instead of two, so that might not mean much.

But then at summer's end Tru had to go back to her own shitty life, and I was stuck in mine. First girl I ever cried over… if certain Twinkies have their way she won't be the last though. She probably never even gives me a thought. Last thing I heard she's got superpowers herself, hears dead people talk or somethin'. But like I said, get this straight: for one summer, I made Tru Davies a card-carryin' lesbo. Well, no card, but you get my drift.

Seems I'm pretty good at doin' that, makin' people loosen up on their strict sexual rules enough to hang loose. I guess I just have a talent for makin' people lose their inhibitions, ya might say.

Take Giles. Now there's a guy for ya who needed help in the department of pulling the stick outta his ass- or "bum" in British speak. I think the guy wore tweed diapers as a baby. And what with all the tutting and glasses and squinty looks, he kinda reminded me of an owl or somethin'… a sexy owl. Uptight as he was, old Rupie definitely had the sexy librarian thing goin' for him.

So I pulled a few strings to help the guy out a little. Just say I want to train with him a little, work on my moves- _alone_ of course, and at night. Next thing ya know I got him pinned up against a bookcase and I'm showin' him that mouths and tongues can be used for more than chantin' Latin spells and vanquishings. And he didn't seem to find my little lesson too above his intellect either.

Of course about five minutes into my classroom demonstration the stick reinserted itself into his ass, and he tried to push me off him, going' all blinky and stutter and "oh-dear-I-just-can't-I'll-be-stoned-with-bloody-scones…. You're-just-a-little-girl-even-if-you-can-kill-me-with-your-bare-hands." I gave him my most innocent and pleading smile, then my wicked sexy one- nope. Guess it's amazing enough I got a whole five minutes outta the guy. Then again, if I'd been his precious Buffy and not Faith-the-fuckin-freak, it might've been a different story.

Lilah… now this one wasn't as much of a challenge as the others. I think the chick had a few kinks in her before I ever got my hands- and lips, and tongue- on her. Like with Giles, I didn't get no grand slams off her, but with her it was more because I denied her than she rejected me. She promised to get me off if I killed Angel… let's just say that little deal backfired. Not only is Angel alive- well, undead anyway- and broodin', but I got HER off instead- with no satisfaction followin'. A few oral thrusts, some expert dry hump grindin', and the bitch was pantin' for more. Which is when I sweetly reminded her that it wasn't fair to pay me off before I'd delivered my end of the bargain, and I swaggered away, just knowin' what her expression must be.

Another way, another straight girl that I made start questionin… Cordy. Yep, our very own Queen Cordelia. Who do you think came to see me on the days when visiting hours at prison were at daylight? Yep, good ole Cordy. And who do you think gave me a big old hug, hump, and grind, managing to startle even me, when I broke out to save Angel? Who do you think I woke up to suckin' on my neck like some de-fanged vampire? Okay, so she was pregnant and sorta evil, but it counts. One more gal all my flirtin' with kinked over into the widenin' area of bisexuality.

My last, latest conquest… she's the one I've had to try hardest and longest with, and she's the one I wanted the most to win over. The only one, other than Tru, that I really cared about. The only one I could say I love, even if I WON'T say it.

Yeah, you've probably guessed it… Buffy. B fought it for years, but now it's all five by five, she's finally given in, given up. As much as she probably hates to admit it sometimes, she knows that's what she really wanted to do all along. I'M what she wanted to do all along… and now she is.

It's kinda weird. Now that I've finally got B to lose her inhibitions- or at least her pretense of them- I'm startin' to wonder if I should let go of my own. Yeah, I got them took, believe it or not… and most of them have to do with exactly that. Believin'. Believin' she wants me… believin' she might could even love me, that ANYONE could love me. Believin' that I might could be happy… believin' that this might last, that she might stay…

end


	7. Chapter 7:Buffy: Accidents

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Last Buffy chapter. In order, characters I picked were Sidney Prescott from Scream, Faith, Missy Pantone from Bring it on, Gale Weathers from Scream, and Spike. If I didn't get her Spike relationship right, know it's because I've never seen those episodes.

Chapter 7: They were all accidents

Okay, okay… so when Willow finally told me she was gay, I wasn't nearly as shocked as I acted. I know you wouldn't think so based on my "Me? Gay? No way!" bluster all the time… but honestly, I had Will beat to the bisexuality game before she even knew me. It's not that I thought it was wrong anything, or that being gay or bisexual is bad- for OTHER people. For me, now that's a different story. I'm just not LIKE that. Well I am, but I'm not supposed to be. I'm SUPPOSED to be straight. Very, very straight.

What it is, is I was scared. I still am, actually, because as of now no one else knows. Except the women I slept with… and hopefully they are afraid enough of me and the damage I could inflict upon them to keep their mouths shut. Okay, I know, I'm a bully and a hypocrite… but what am I SUPPOSED to do? Be HONEST?

Okay, maybe I should. But I don't wanna…

The first girl, I thought maybe it was a fluke. I mean, I was so young, just a freshman in high school, girls are weird and hormone-wacked at that age. I thought it was just a one-time thing- even at the time I thought it was a one-time thing. Her name was Sidney Prescott, and we met at the beach. She didn't live too far from me, even though we didn't go to the same school, and that made it much easier for us to sneak around and hide it from everyone. I think my paranoia was what broke us up more than anything; even though Mom and Dad never even met Sid, I was petrified that they'd find out who I'd been sneaking off to see, and why. Last thing I heard about Sidney was that her mom had died a year ago after we broke up. Actually, her mom was murdered. And then Sidney herself apparently survived multiple massacres all intended to kill her specifically. I don't know, maybe the girl has superpowers herself; she might be a potential Slayer or something.

Just when I'd fully settled myself back into Straightsville again though… here comes Faith, blowing all intentions of a no-girl-lusting life straight into the pits of Hellmouth. Let's just say that Faith blew Sidney out of the water as far as temptations go. ANY temptations… including straight ones. Including Angel.

Do you know how hard it was for me to be around her every day, so freakin' attracted to her, taking out with her the slaying hornies I continued to deny existed in me, without throwing all self-control and common sense and decency to the wind and just flinging myself at her in front of everyone? That was all I could think about around her. It was so bad that I had to almost force myself to be constantly angry and annoyed with her, just so I could look at her without bursting.

Faith was absolutely no help, of course. SHE didn't care who knew or saw, and she certainly didn't care how much it would hurt Angel if he knew. She went out of her way to drop hints and implications obvious only to me, to give me these looks and touches and jabs that were somehow amused, gleeful, antagonizing, and possessive. She never did tell anyone what was going on with us, as far as I know- but neither did she try to be very discreet.

I think that deep down, I knew what happened with her and the mayor was as much my fault as hers. I would have denied it until I was blue in the face- and I did, a LOT- but that was more from guilt and self-righteous anger than true belief in my own words. Had I been able to give her what she wanted and needed, to love her and be open about what we were doing instead of hiding and sneaking and acting like I was ashamed to be with her, than she probably wouldn't have felt so angry and hurt and betrayed. However, her turning on me and trying to kill everyone was way, way out of line. Talk about someone needing to work on self-control. I think Faith had me beat there.

The next girl- I would never have admitted it at the time, but I know now that she was probably someone I was with as a direct rebound from Faith. For one thing, she bore a suspicious resemblance to her. For another, she was exactly Faith's age and shared more than a little of her attitude. Her name was Missy Pantone, and I dated her- well, had a clandestine affair with her- the summer after we blew up the high school. Again, different high schools made it all too easy to hide.

Oh, but this last affair, this is the one that really makes me cringe… the one that, if anyone EVER finds out, I will be dead. Literally. Hopefully I will first have the opportunity to make sure the little twit goes out with me.

Her name was Gale Weathers, and she was a cheesy tabloid reporter from the area. One night she just "happened" to be along with her camera while I was slaying… she threatened exposure, so to keep her story quiet, I did what I had to do. Wich was to have a one-night stand with her, and threaten HER with exposure if she breathed a word or bugged me again. Not to mention several broken body parts. God, that was one "fling" I didn't even get guilt lust pleasure out of in the slightest. She was like 35 and practically a piranha. All I can say is maybe it was a good thing I had all this secret lesbian experience so I could fantasize a little during it…

For now, I'm with Spike. I could make a crack now about that being lesbian experience #5, but I'm not feeling too witty at the moment. More like anxious. Yeah, I have a thing going with Spike… but I don't love him. I never did, never will. And honestly… I don't enjoy doing things with him nearly as much as with some of the girls I've been with. Wow, that would SO kill his ego if I told him that…

Honestly, I still don't think of myself as bisexual. All that stuff, it was kind of accidents. Really. No way am I looking for women to be with.

Still… if Faith came along while Spike and I were having sex and casually joined in… I'm not sure I'd have such a problem with that…


	8. Chapter 8:Willow:Hair color racist

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author notes: Another of Dark Knight's challenges. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Last Willow chapter. In order, characters I picked were Drusilla, Faith, Tru Davies from Tru Calling, Missy Pantone from Bring it On, and Kennedy.

Some people seem to have a certain "type" of person they're attracted to… long legs, big boobs, blondes, redheads, whatever. Not too many with the redheads, unfortunately… and I don't have most of the other "type" stuff either. I never really thought that I had a type preference myself, but now that I think back on it, I guess I sorta do, even if it's just an unconscious thing and not a oh-I'll-only-date-people-who-look-exactly-like-that thing. Because I wouldn't do that, because it's mean and exclusive and just not me. But in a way I have anyway though…

Brunettes. The only girls I've ever been with have been brunettes. Well except Tara- but, but even Tara was sorta brunette. Kinda dirty blonde- so that kinda counts too. But even if you don't count Tara- which I definitely, most definitely do- there's still the fact that all five other women were brunette. And that has GOT to mean something.

I'm a hair color racist, and I didn't even know it. But I can't help it! I didn't even know! What am I supposed to do about it, have a one night stand with a blonde so I can break myself of it?

Well, there's always Buffy I guess. I mean, after slaying she always gets so tense, and I don't think she's quite as straight-girl as she says. And what are friends for after all…

Oh no, oh ewww! Wrong thought, no! I do not want to have sex with Buffy, she's my FRIEND!

Or am I really just racist against her because of her hair color? Am I racist against my own best friend?

Oh no. Of course not.

What if I am though?

I didn't even really KNOW I was gay through the first four brunettes. Well I KNEW, but I DIDN'T know, you know? I had that in-the-closet-denial thing going pretty strong. Really, REALLY strong. I mean, the first girl I made out with was Drusilla… yeah, I know, I know, make faces at me and hold up a cross and holy water. But see, that one wasn't even my choice. Well it was, but it wasn't. But I didn't like it! Well actually I did, even if it was pretty scary and I was pretty sure I was going to wet my pants. Or die. Or, for maximum badness, both. But even with all that going on, I did like it, and I kinda wanted to keep doing it…

See, at the time I was kinda alone in a cemetery and Buffy was busy beating up the undead a little ways away, and I saw Drusilla. But I did some real quick thinking and pretended I was Vampire Willow. And Vampire Willow is kinda gay, so I kissed her. To, to fool her. Plus, you know, I was kinda curious what it's like to kiss someone who's dead. Because Buffy did it all the time… and Drusilla's kind of pretty, even if she's scary and crazy and wants to suck out all my blood. So I was kissing her and trying to make sexy moans… and then Buffy came running up and scared her off. I said all the kissing must have been prelude to blood sucking… but, but I was lying, because I was the one doing the kissing. Just to trick her, of course… well that's what I SAID, but I don't think it was really true. I mean, I knew Drusilla would feel my heartbeat and smell that I was alive when she was kissing me… but I did it anyway. I knew she might try to kill me… but I did it anyway.

Wow… was I subconsciously okay with dying as long as I could kiss Drusilla first? Is my subconscious trying to kill me?

I think it is. It must hate me. Because the next brunette girl I made out with could have killed me too. You remember how Faith got all evil a while with the mayor and killed people and kidnapped me and threatened to kill me? Held a knife to my throat and everything? Yep, I kissed her too. While I was being held hostage. And it 

wasn't even because she was making me, with a knife at my throat. And I liked it too…

I told myself that it was to soften her up, distract her, so maybe she would let me go, or at least not hurt me. But was it really necessary to become very familiar with the inside of Faith's mouth and the exact feel of her back and shoulders and stomach and boobs and thighs to distract her? After my tough-girl talk, couldn't I have tried being nice and sweet instead of totally hooking up with her?! Of course I could have- but nope, that wasn't what I did. Or wanted to do. Besides, I can't deny that I thought about it and wanted it way before I tried to use it as a bargaining chip. If you've ever seen Faith dance in those tight pants and lowcut tops, ever watched her pummel vampire butt and then turn and smirk at you without missing a beat, making some sarcastic comment… well, maybe you WOULDN'T understand, but just trust me on this one. Well, I don't know, maybe you SHOULDN'T trust me since I seem to have a problem with making out with evil brunette women and then hiding it. You're not an evil brunette, are you? Because maybe you should stay away from me if you are…

Hey, maybe that's it… maybe it's not just brunette women I have a thing for, but EVIL brunette women. Oh great, so I'm not only a hair color racist, but I also have deep evil issues to work through.

No, no, Tru wasn't evil, or Missy either, as far as I know. Kennedy, now that's debatable… just kidding, don't tell her I said that! I met Tru in a bar right after I'd broken up with Oz… or rather, after Oz had broken up with me. Right away I noticed her, dancing with a friend… and for a second, I thought she was Faith. They kind of look similar if you're not looking too closely, or if you've had a few tequilas. Maybe that was the only reason we ended up leaving the place together for her apartment, because of the tequilas… or maybe Tru just reminded me of Faith, and I still had our hook-up lingering in my mind. Whatever the case, I woke up in Tru's bed the next day with a major hangover and a big, big guilt and panic.

Not enough that I didn't go out and do the same thing all over again the very next night though… another girl who sorta reminded me of Faith, this one a girl called Missy. Maybe it's more that I have a thing for Faith than for evil brunettes… maybe she made more of an impact on me than I thought. It WAS really nice, touching her, feeling her touch and kiss me back…

Sometimes I wonder if she does that in prison with other women. Sometimes I even am kinda jealous thinking of it…

NO I don't! Stop it brain, stop!

Somehow though, even after all four of those women, I managed to keep myself from admitting that I was REALLY attracted to any of them, that I was REALLY a lesbian. Like I said, I played it all off as devious plots and drunken mistakes- nothing I WANTED to do, nothing I enjoyed.

Lies. Willow Rosenberg was a big fat liar.

I'm with Kennedy now, brunette #5, 6 if you count Tara, who was the first I loved enough to stop all the denials… mostly. I haven't told Kennedy my brunette theory yet. I have a feeling that if I did, she'd go blonde, just to spite me. Not that that would work, of course.

Or would it? Would I still be attracted to her?

I better not tell Buffy either. She might get freaked and think I'm lusting after Dawn or something. And it's not cool to lust after your friend's little sister.

Wait a minute… I don't, right? Of course I don't! Not little Dawnie, I would NEVER!

Would I?


	9. Chapter 9:Faith:Worth the effort

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Author notes: Another challenge. Pick names from hat to be a character's lovers, make a story out of it with characters in order. Last Faith chapter. In order, characters I picked were Samantha Jones from Sex in the City, Xander, Spike, Harrison Davies from Tru Calling, and Tara.

Chapter 9: Worth the effort

Everyone seems to think that I just sprang into being in Sunnydale one day at the age of sixteen, brimming with irresistible sexual vibes and knowledge… _right_. No one just _knows_ anything, even about sex, a supposedly simple enough biological thing that any idiot is supposed to be able to figure out enough to produce more loser morons like himself. Well, as any no-longer-virgin who just screwed it up royally- yep, the pun is intended there- could tell you, you might be able to _do_ it, but doing it _right_ is a different story. Everyone's gotta have a teacher to show them how to do it right, even me- and sex and slaying are about all I'm good for. And I gotta say, where sex goes anyway, I learned from the best.

Her name was Samantha Jones, and I was fourteen. She didn't know that at the time; I could and can look much older than my age with the modern magic of makeup. Not to use a cliché or nothin', but then again, I guess I _am_ pretty much a cliché myself- but we met at a bar. It wasn't one of the big-shot New York ones Samantha was used to- they let me in without making me show ID, after all- but I can't say that she minded. Yeah, she was from New York, she was taking a weekend trip with some friends down to Boston though. And I gotta give myself credit where credit's due here: in a bar full of men she could've taken on, any who would've thrown themselves at her feet, Samantha Jones the Sex Goddess approached _me_. Fourteen-year-old, pre-Slayer, stupid little _me_.

It lasted for all of two days… the whole time she was in Boston. Not long, but god did I learn a lot. I mean, I'd done stuff before, whether or not I wanted to in some cases, but not like that. _Nothing_ had ever happened to me like that…

Not only did I inherit Samantha's every skill, but also her get-some, get-gone mentality, since that's exactly what she pulled on me. Believe it or not, at the time I was really dumb enough to think it meant somethin' to her, regardless of how clear she made it from the get-go that I wasn't. She thought I was cute- not even hot, but _cute_, fuckin' _cute_- she wanted me, she took me.

Don't worry, I got her good though for makin' me feel so stupid and weak. Imagine her face when I told her the "cute" young girl she'd just taught all of her tricks of the trade to was fourteen years old and still in middle school. You imagining? Whatever face you pictured, it won't do the way _hers_ looked any justice whatsoever.

Too bad no one else seems to match up to her skill level that's come along since… maybe it's because most of them have been guys. Notice the use of the word "guys" and not "men"… or maybe it's just because of the pathetic guys in question. The latter seems to be the more likely option.

I mean, Xander? Need I even mention him? That lasted about seven minutes, tops, and that was with all my efforts to prolong things. How that Anya chick stays so interested in him I will never understand. Now there's a girl I wouldn't mind trying out. My guess is she would totally blow Xander and the rest of the sadsack gang outta the water. Probably literally.

And Spike. Please. That was while I was in B's body- which I'm sure made her scrub herself with hot water afterward at the time. Though ironically enough, she seemed to see it fit to lap up my sloppy seconds with him later. All I gotta say about that little fiasco was if Spike and his "performance" are any indication of how good the undead are in bed, I have no idea what the whole Buffy-sleeps-with-dead-guys is about then. They're certainly _dead_ all right, you know?

And then there was Harrison Davies. The poor sap… another Xander-type, only this one is self-deluded enough to think he's actually any good, that he actually _earned_ me. Not to sound all airheaded Clueless girl, but as if. He definitely wasn't one to spend the night with. He was barely on to call a "goodbye, I'll call you (even though I don't have a telephone)" to as I walked out the door.

The worst thing about it is there ain't even no teachin' these guys, the way Samantha taught me. They're like sexually retarded. At the very least, sexually challenged. It wouldn't be worth the effort, trust me.

There's one person I wonder about that I haven't been with yet though… one person that I think could actually be worth it, one person I find myself feeling an interest toward. I think part of it is the mystery of her, almost like the way she keeps to herself makes you want to work to get her, try to draw her out, win her over… and despite what I thought based on how mousy and completely not-hot she looked on our first meet, back when I was still in Buffy's body, I'm kinda changing my mind now. She doesn't look so bad… or maybe she does, and I just don't care anymore, now that I've decided I sorta want her.

Yeah, I'm talking about Tara, Red's shy-girl girlfriend. She doesn't seem like much at first- she's all meek and stutter and timid, not my type at all, other than to poke fun at when I'm bored. But I don't know… for such a quiet thing who looks like she'd jump if you said boo, she definitely has Red wrapped around her fingers. Besides… I know she's not always so wishy-washy. She's one of the most powerful witches I've ever met. Not that I've met a lot, but still. Evil _runs_ from the girl when she gets in chant-mode. She gets very intense, very threatening alluva sudden… very un-Tara. And that's kinda sexy. Makes me think she'd be a force to reckon with in bed too… because she can blush and stammer all she wants, but I can tell just by lookin' in her eyes that old Terror has one helluva libido.

Who knows, maybe somethin' will happen between her and Red someday… and of course, I'll be lurking ever so innocently around the corner to give her a little comfort. I just have a feeling that as far as protégés go, Terror would be the one who'd take the ball and turn with it. Who knows- she might even be able to teach _me_ a thing or two.

end


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